Love does not delight in evil

Love does not delight in evil...what does that mean to you???

What it means to me, is that we don't hold onto our spouses faults and keep bringing them up over and over and over again until we beat it or them into the ground. It is so easy to look at our spouses faults again, and again, and again replaying it over in our minds but all that does is lay out a path of destruction to the end of our marriages. I have been guilty of replaying what I feel are my husbands faults over and over in my mind, but what I might consider is his faults could actually be the very tools God is using to shape, and mold me into being a better person that He knows I can be. God knows my full potential and who I can be in this life and He will choose many tools throughout my life to help me reach my full potential. So, what I may think are Tommy's faults could very well be the iron that is sharpening the iron in me. Helping me to become a better wife, mother, daughter, friend and servant of the Most High God.

So, I challenge you with this....instead of looking at your spouses' faults look to yourself for your own faults which God may want to get rid of and turn you into the best person you can possibly be...Your the only one that can be you, so you might as well be the best you that there ever was. I join you with this challenge and let's seek God out to help mold and create us into the best Lauriena's and yous that there ever was or ever will be...

LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS

Enjoy the ADVENTURE OF Loving your spouse

& not trying to find every fault they may have...

(don't forget we all have our own faults too.)

My husband sent this great quote and it made me think if I took this approach to my marriage and life in general where would my relationship with my husband be at today...


"Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Grab life by the mane. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies..

Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can.

Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshipping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion.
Live life to it's fullest and love your spouse to your fullest...when you are weak allow God's strength in you to be made strong. I'm excited to get started today on my journey and challenge to live my life in my marriage to it's fullest and love Tommy in a whole new way.

I'm going to enjoy the JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME!!!

It's the journey that makes life worth living!!!

Love is not easily Angered

Love is not irritable... 2 Corinthians 12:9 "God's grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness."

I cannot love my spouse on my own & not have an urge at times to be irritable. There are days I just want to flop on the ground, & throw a fit to get my own way...but that does no good now does it?! (for all of you parents of young toddlers out there) =}

I am not perfect, but Jesus is & He lives inside me. Only by God's grace & strength can I love Tommy whole heatedly. I must ask for God's strength each & every day b/c in my natural selfish human nature I am irritable @ times & I can get easily angered. Only by God's grace & His strength can I make it through those days that I may not feel like being respectful & loving towards Tommy. It's a choice to set aside my feelings and ask God to live out His love and compassion for Tommy on those not so glorious feeling days. When I want to be selfish & childish...(which gets me no where)!!!

I ask you Lord to give me your patients & strength to live this day in Your love & compassion.

Love is not Self-Seeking

Seeking for the gain of oneself...the word that comes to mind on this is SELFISHNESS. It's in our human nature to seek things out for our own gain...success, love, "what's in it for me" (that's what the world teaches us)...etc. The list could go on and on. I'm guilty of this especially in my marriage. And to be quite honest, seeking for satisfaction and fulfilment completely from my husband is not only unrealistic but it's not fair to him. He can't meet my inner most wants and desires. Only God can completely meet those needs, making me feel satisfied and fulfilled in this life. God's the one who gives me peace in the midst of the storms life throws at me. God's the one who ultimately comforts me and calms my heart. Tommy is a great consular but even when he gives me a hug and lets me cry on his shoulder he can't touch my heart and release the pain and hurts. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. So to seek to gain complete satisfaction and fulfillment from Tommy is unrealistic and would not be truly loving him. When I allow God to be my soul provider, comforter, and meeter of all my needs is when Tommy is free to be the great husband that he is and not having to stress or fret over trying to be my all in all. It has taken many trials and errors to learn this lesson, and I'm sure there will be more lessons to learn to always keep relying on God instead of Tommy, that's why I will be the first to admit I'm a work in progress. Thankfully God has given me a loving and understanding husband who knows that I'm a work in progress too.=} And he is willing to be patient and love me through it all.=}

Is Not Rude

According to the Webster Dictionary Rude is: Mean, lacking in social refinement, implies ignorance or indifference of good form, suggest intentional of discourtesy, lack of gentleness, lacking refinement or delicacy, occuring abruptly or disconcertingly(rude awakening).

Being rude is not being considerate and not caring of what you are saying to another person or even considering how it may impact the other person's feelings. I know from our first year of marriage the consideration and thoughtfulness of my own actions while Tommy and I were dating at times went out the window...sad to say but it is being real and honest with myself and you....can we say at times with my words I intentionally was discourtesy, had lack of gentleness, and refinement or any delicacy of my choice of words that came out of my mouth....which brought a rude awakening to our relationship. I was down right rude at times with my words. Words really can hurt and actions of being rude to your spouse can hurt the relationship(whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me) had either a lack of any empathy to self or just had a down right loss of sanity or feelings. Being rude to your spouse only damages the relationship and your intimacy with them. Our first 10 months of marriage after a blissful and exciting courtship came to a rude awakening when we began to see the not so pretty side of Lorena. Thankfully I have a forgiving husband and a gracious and loving God who desires to see me be a better wife and person....I have grown to learn to hold my words and really think about and consider how my words will impact my husband. If we have a disagreement I've been trying to consider how I am going to react to Tommy in a respectful way and try my best not to be rude...(I'm a work in progress) I've definately been learning how to communicate in a not so rude and disrespecful way...(I still have a long way to go but if I've come this far already in 5 years how far can I better myself with the good Lord's help in a year from now...hopefully a more considerate, loving and respectful wife).

I'M A WORK IN PROGRESS!!! ;}

Where would you like to be in...

Lets take a quick break from 1 Cor. 13,

sit back and reflect

where we would like our marriages to be in







say 5 years, 10 years, 15 years & so on...

I have some what of an idea where I would like my marriage in 40+ years...

(still happily married to

Tommy growing old with him

until death do us part)...

but that's just a brief description.

This couple is my inspiration....they are my parents and have been married 40+ years. God is so good.

When you know where you want to be in your marriage years from now you have to set goals to get there. So, if I want my marriage to be strong, thriving in our friendship, communication, affection, love, passion, and intimacy with Tommy being married to him 40+ years then I better make a plan and set goals to get there. You can't hit a target unless you set it in front of you.
One of the goals I would like for Tommy and I to set together is plan our 5 years anniversary...for instance, a trip for 5, 10, 15, 20...etc anniversaries...(that's having the expectation of still be married to Tommy all those years and then some) ;} I look forward to going on trips with Tommy, we get to go have fun just the 2 of us and we have such an enjoyable time together...just hanging out. That's why I married him in the first place...we enjoy being together. He's my best friend.
My goal to help my love for Tommy to grow was to take on this "love Dare" this year, to show how much I love my husband and cherish my marriage... keeping it fresh and alive. Who wants to be in a marriage that is dead and you have nothing in common anymore b/c you have allowed your feelings to die. Marriage takes work and it takes two of you to work in it...that's why love is a commitment.
I am going to keep reflecting and setting goals to keep my marriage striving and alive. Alot of them are going to be a challenge to complete but that's the exciting part, to see them come to fullfillment. I hope all of you are willing to challenge yourselves to set goals in your marriage so that you can see the fruits of your labor 40 years from now. Keep holding strong to God's promises and you will accomplish the goals set before you and your marriage will blossom from them.

Love is not Prideful

Wow, this has been an amazing & profound journey I've been on. The "Love Dare" challenge has helped me grow and brought a change in my attitude towards life and marriage. It has totally turned my attitude around for the better. My love for Tommy has grown so much through this challenge. I love him more today then when we first got married....which excites me and inspires me to keep doing the Love Dare challenge b/c I can only imagine where we will be in 10, 20, 30, or even 40 years from now. Love is a commitment to keep striving to better ourselves so that we can better our marriages. It breaks my heart to see couples go through divorce around me, especially with my close friends. I grieve with them over their loss. But even though it breaks my heart it also reveals to me the importance to keep striving to find ways to work on my marriage, keeping the love going strong and being committed to giving my all in my marriage. My heart longs for the day to see the divorce rate in our country drop... but, for right now the only person I can keep working on is myself and the rest I will have to keep in my prayers.

Love is not prideful: an over high opinion of oneself, exaggerated self esteem, haughtiness, arrogance, since of one's own dignity, self-respect, delight or satisfaction in one's achievements.

The opposite of pride is humility. If more of us would be willing to humble ourselves in our marriage then I believe we would have a lot less fights and a lot more respect shown towards our spouse. Do we really always have to be right?! Proverbs 16:18 tells us "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall". When we allow pride to fill our hearts we begin to forget the treasure that lies within our spouse and we begin to focus on our self. It's all about me, my needs, my desires, my life. But Humility thinks about others and their needs and their dreams. When we are humble we desire to help our spouse succeed in life and reach their dreams.

SO, I challenge all of us willing to seek out the best in our spouse and humble ourselves this week when a disagreement arises that we will "be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to get angry". Let's put ourselves in our spouse's shoes and see their point of view in the disagreement. Good luck to you all and may we all strive to better our lives and marriages.