Love is a commitment!!!

JUST A LITTLE EXTRA T.L.C.

Tommy & Lauriena Cruz

It amazes me that there are so many couples who in their wedding vows say they are going to LOVE, HONOR & CHERISH their spouse until death do they part, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse... I know that my husband and I were one of those couples. And now after almost 5 years of marriage I begin to wondering if every couple who had those words in their vows truly took the time to take heart these 3 words what would it really look like.... how many marriages would actually last through the storms of life and the tsunamis that try to wash our paths away.

So let's take a closer look together and break these 3 words down.What would it really look like if we LOVED our spouses.

According to 1 Cor. 13:4~8a says

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persevers. Love never FAILS"

Wow, imagined if your spouse truly loved you this way, they were patient with you (even when you act out and throw your pitty parties...don't worry I do too, that's why we're called

human) =}. Or they were kind to you, (called you in the middle of your day not to request something of you but just to say "I love you, and just wanted you to know that" or sent you a card to your work or home to say"I love you"). They didn't envy you but rejoiced with you when you get that promotion you were waiting for. They didn't strut around being proudful of themselves but instead praised you for your qualities. They spoke to you in a gentle loving tone

(even in the heat of the battle). They strive to help you reach your full potential and accomplish your dreams. They listen to your every word and don't get definsive when there's a disagreement betweem the 2 of you. They don't keep bringing up your past faults but they let them go, and encourage you (not in a nagging way either) to strive to be a better person. They respect you and talk highly of you to others, not gossiping about you.

They will always try to protect you, and trust your word. They bring hope in your life and you can feel safe in your relationship with them B/C they are commited to you, and will do what they can to protect your marriage.

Now that would be amazing if your spouse loved you that way...but how much more amazing would it be if you loved your spouse that way even before your spouse ever loved you that way. It takes a big person to better themselves and challenge themselves even if that means they start the journey by themselves.

What about HONOR, what does honoring your spouse look like:

According to Websters Dictionary.

"HONOR: is to hold at high regard, have great respect, glorify, good reputation, consider right & pure, something done or given, ceremonies of respect, a source or cause of respect or fame, exalt, staking one's good name on one's truthfulness or reliability."

We should ask ourselves how can we honor our spouse by way of this definition. How can we hold our spouse in high regards & have a great respect for them? How can we glorify them by giving them a good reputation, considering them right in other's eyes? Helping them to be pure through out their lives? How can we exalt our spouse? One of the ways that most women do show respect to their husbands when they first get married they take on their husband's last name in good faith trusting that he is going to be trustworthy and reliable.

We have the power of choice, we get to choose how we are going to live out our lives, and live them out in our marriages. When we love & honor our spouse we are making the choice to be commited to keeping our marriages strong.

CHERISH sounds so nice, "I'm going to love, honor, & CHERISH my spouse until death do us part".... wow, that could very well mean a long time we have to cherish our spouse. But I believe a lot of us don't know what it truly means to cherish something or someone.... we flipantly throw out "I love pizza, I love puppies, I love this, I love that". The English language doesn't really give us much in the area of describing how we differentiate about things. To truly understand what it means to cherish we'll take a look at Websters dictionary once again.

"CHERISH: to hold dear, value highly, to take good care of, treat tenderly, to hold in the mind, cling to."

Do we really hold our spouse dear to our hearts, valueing them highly, making sure we are taking good care of them, treating them tenderly, clinging to the very thought of them being called our own?

Wow, to really break down all 3 of these words and really taking a look at what they mean really opens my eyes and makes me ask myself...in the past 5 years have I really LOVED, HONOR, & CHERISHED my husband? To answer that question honestly NO!!! I'm a very real, honest person even when that means admitting my faults...(& yes my husband can attest to my faults... but thankfully he is a gracious and loving husband~& forgiving) =}

I have been challenged this year @ the beginning of 2009 to really strive to love,honor, & cherish my husband. I have been doing the "Love Dare" book inspired by the "Fireproof" movie. It's taking me a little longer then 40 days... It's March 9th and I'm still basically in the beginning of the book, I'm on day 11... (which I still have to read by the way) =} but I won't allow myself to move onto another day until I complete the day I am on. But I'm a work in progress and each day of my life is too. I have also challenged my circle of coffee girls to join me in another type of love dare and that is to take each word that describes love from 1 Cor. 13:4~8a and love our spouses through creative ways living out the action of that word for a week.

I have seen a big turn around in my attitude towards my husband & my love has grown for him so much it's unbelievable. My husband just told me last night he felt our marriage is at the strongest it has ever been. It has definately been a challenge but so rewarding in the results it has brought to our marriage & our relationship.

Now our marriage wasn't on the rocks or but I was not living my full potential as a wife and loving my husband as a child of God. The reason I took on the 2 Love Dare challenges was to better myself but also to do preventive work in my marriage so we don't have to be on the rocks before turning our marriage around. It's like when you own a vehicle... you don't keep driving it until it goes capoot on you, you have to put in gas, change the oil, change the spark plugs, have it tuned up, rotate your tires...etc. You have to do the preventive work on a car so it will be fine tuned and reliably running for you so your not stranded out in ten-buck-to with no help around and no cell phone to call out to anyone. Thankfully we do have God to call out in times of need, when we just don't have the strength in us to love our spouses the way they deserve to be loved. He will give us strength to get us through & even the love we need to pour out onto our spouse. B/C to be quite honest it's not easy to love our spouse when we are consumed of our selves, yet when we pray to God He is faithful to answer and give us a new & refreshing outpour of abundant love for our spouse.

I would love to have anyone who would like to join us in the love dare challenge to feel free . What we are doing is we get together every week and share how we did the previous week on the word of the week. This week we are on Kindness (much easier then the previous week...it was patients) =} I would love to hear comments on how it is working out...GOOD LUCK TO ALL WHO TAKE ON THE CHALLENGE, may it change your marriage forever. We are all a work in progress.