It's the small things!!!

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." Ephesians 5:25

It's definately the small, little acts of kindness that are the

glue that helps hold our marriages together.

My husband lately has been doing the small little things for me which in turn makes me want to serve him all the more. He's dropped what he was doing the other day and went to lunch with me. Then the very next day after going to a women's banquet he came out to carry the decorations I had to bring into the house from the car and brought them in for me and even grabbed the last box that was in my hands and carried it in for me. Then a few days after that it was freezer cold in the morning and I just asked him to bring the car seat in from the truck so I could put it in the car since I had another 2 year old I was picking up and he put the car seat in the car and buckled it in...which if you knew how cold it was here (it felt like 10 degrees that morning) now you can understand how much that meant to me=} And then I stopped at the store to pick up some dinner for us and our little one fell asleep before we even got there so I put her in a snugly pack and on our way back out of the store my husband surprised me by meeting me at the store and carried the groceries to his car and then carried them into the house for me so I could get our little girl to bed... Oh, if I could put it in a picture of how much I feel so loved and it's more then words can describe.

When the sun sets each and eveyday I love my husband more that day then the day before...he is so amazing and loves me in spite of my flaws=}

(thank God for that)!!!

Oh how lucky I do feel that God has blessed me with the husband that I have...there's no one else who would better fit for me...I thank God He brought us together.=}

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Can you believe it...tomorrow is already Thanksgiving!!!

I just love the fall season...it's so beautiful with the different color leaves, change in weather... and you know that it can be a season of hope, gratefulness, and filled with many wonderful memories.

I know my family's tradition was simple but rather very memorable. We usually had our immediate family get together with one of our great friend's family. Wewould have dinner, watch the Macy day parade, watch the football game, play football after turkey dinner in the afternoon. The most memorable thing we use to do was share what we are thankful for. I think that's such a great traditions for families to do...parents teaching their kids how to be grateful and thankful for what God has given them....even if it's not much. I miss my family and being able to spend the holiday's with them. This will be my 7th year away from them (and I'm grateful for the years in between that my parents have been able to be with us) but I truly miss my brothers and sister. I also miss my sister in laws and niece and nephews. I have an amazing husband and his family is wonderful. But the holidays aren't the same as what I grew up with...I hope that as Kai gets older she will get the privilege to experience with my side of the family our traditions we use to have. I know not everyone had a great upbringing as myself and oh how I wish so many would have had that, even though we didn't have much growing up we did have each other...(an irreplaceable family)!!! To all of you out there I wish you a great Thanksgiving filled with wonderful memories. May God bless you with a special Thanksgiving a day to give Him thanks for our breath of life and one more day to celebrate of being alive.

I finally got my business up

I'm so excited to say the least...It's amazing how fast time passes and before you realize it it's been about 3 weeks, or longer since I announced that I was trying to get my business up and running... Well for the long awaited virtual store has been set up. My hope is to help bring in a income into our home yet most of all help all those amazing mothers out there who could use a helping hand...or should I say, a baby carrier=) When I first had Kai she was a very needy baby who always wanted to be held. (that was the only thing that really comforted her) ....I know some just say cry it out, but I just could not bring myself to just lay her down and let her cry it out yet for about the first 3 months I didn't get much done except carrying Kai around. Then I received the best gift ever. A friend of mine gave me a ring sling that changed my life forever and the way I mother. I could actually get things done around the house and help comfort my precious little princess. Oh how it helped make my life so much easier. The benefits of baby wearing have rung so true in my life...

• Baby wearing is convent
• Baby wearing promotes physical development
• Baby worn in slings/carriers are happier & cry less
• Baby wearing is healthier for mothers
• Toddlers appreciate the security of the carriers
• Baby wearing helps you & your baby communicate better
• Carriers are a bonding tool for all who use them
• Carriers are a safe place for baby to be
• Carriers are economical
• Baby wearing make your toddlers more secure & independent
• Baby wearing is fun

Sighting of the full definition of the above is found @ http://www.naturalchild.org/

I found many of the above to ring so true in my life...especially for baby wearing make your toddlers more secure and independent. I've seen it in my own little girl. If you need a baby carrier to help you out or a friend out please feel free to come check out my store @ www.mommysbestfriend2009.etsy.com

I try to keep my carriers at a reasonable price so that many who are on a budget can afford them and reep the benefits of baby wearing.=} I look forward to serving you and even if you are not in the market for a baby carrier and know someone who is please pass this on to them. I will be giving a 20% discount on all carriers ordered before November 30, 2009. Thank you so much for helping me kick off this business and to be a blessing to so many mothers out there.

I have been so blessed...

My life @ this moment in time is what I dreamed about growing up. Being married to an amazing husband, whose a great provider, fun to hang out with, and just all around great company to be around. And I get to be @ home with a beautiful girl who is just outrageously funny and who makes my day. (right now she is walking around with one of her cloth diapers in a grocery bag carring it like a purse) lol... I always wanted to be a stay at home mom being able to raise my children...and that is what I get to do...God is so good to me, "oh how He loves me"...and I just feel His love so much...He has spoiled me and oh how special He has made me feel. I would not ever want to trade my life in for anyone else's, I have my own problems, my own personality quirks but God knows them all and cares about them all, He helps me work through the problems and even probably laughs @ the personality quirks...I believe He has a great since of humor...that's why He made us all different...and we are all made in His image. ;) We are so blessed. THank you Lord for my life!!!

"Love Never Fails"

Oh How He loves Us...

The past few months I've been blogging about what I've been learning on how to love my husband. I've also been learning during this time how much God loves us. His love never will fail us. In His perfect, infinite love He will always lavish it upon us.
I heard for the first time the song "Oh How He Loves Us" by Kim Walker a few weekends ago and what a powerful song. (you can follow the link below to check out the video..enjoy)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GFIJXWXiyI
Here's the lyric so you can see what I mean how God lavishes His love out on us..
"He is jealous for me Love's like a hurricane,
I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of
His wind and mercy When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed
by glory and I realize just how beautiful
You are and how great your affections
are for me. Oh, how He loves us so

Oh, how He loves us How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us Woah, how He loves usWoah,
how He loves us Woah, how He loves.So
we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His
eyes If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet
kiss and my heart turns violently inside of
my chest I don't have time to maintain these
regrets when I think about the wayThat he
loves us, Woah, how He loves us Woah, how
He loves us Woah, how He loves us"
His love truly will never fail!!!

There's so many scriptures in the Bible the just jump
off the page and tell us how much God loves us...
on of the most common ones is John 3:16
There's even a whole chapter in Psalm that talks of his steadfast love endures forever
Psalm 136
1O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.
2O give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever.
3O give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever;
4who alone does great wonders, for his steadfast love endures forever;
5who by understanding made the heavens, for his steadfast love endures forever;
6who spread out the earth on the waters, for his steadfast love endures forever;
7who made the great lights, for his steadfast love endures forever;
8the sun to rule over the day, for his steadfast love endures forever;
9the moon and stars to rule over the night, for his steadfast love endures forever;
10who struck Egypt through their firstborn, for his steadfast love endures forever;
11and brought Israel out from among them, for his steadfast love endures forever;
12with a strong hand and an outstretched arm, for his steadfast love endures forever;
13who divided the Red Sea in two, for his steadfast love endures forever;
14and made Israel pass through the midst of it, for his steadfast love endures forever;
15but overthrew Pharaoh and his army in the Red Sea, for his steadfast love endures forever;
16who led his people through the wilderness, for his steadfast love endures forever;
17who struck down great kings, for his steadfast love endures forever;
18and killed famous kings, for his steadfast love endures forever;
19Sihon, king of the Amorites, for his steadfast love endures forever;
20and Og, king of Bashan, for his steadfast love endures forever;
21and gave their land as a heritage, for his steadfast love endures forever;
22a heritage to his servant Israel, for his steadfast love endures forever.
23It is he who remembered us in our low estate, for his steadfast love endures forever;
24and rescued us from our foes, for his steadfast love endures forever;
25who gives food to all flesh, for his steadfast love endures forever.
26O give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.

His love does endure forever and while sharing about loving, cherishing, & honoring our spouses I can only think of what a perfect example God has given us to follow. There's no greater example of how to love someone whole-heartedly & unconditionally then the way God loves us...
He sacrificed being with His son and willingly gave His one & only precious son Jesus Christ just so that we can live eternally with Him...
That's true, unfailing Love

Now that's the perfect example of how to love our spouse. There will be times we have to a give up our own selfish desires and make sacrifices to show how much we truly love them. It's not always easy loving our spouse but then again I'm sure it's not always easy for my husband to love me at times either.
Thankfully our Heavenly Father is perfect and know's how to love us perfectly. Let's follow our Heavenly Father's example and love our spouse the way He loves us!!!

love, honor, and CHERISH

What does it really look like to CHERISH our spouses. Probably the majority of us said in our wedding vows that we would love, honor and cherish our spouse but have we really lived up to cherishing them each and every day? To be honest, I know I haven't cherished my husband each and everyday. I'm trying to learn what cherishing really means so that i can "love, honor and CHERISH" him the way God intended me to do.
CHERISH: [Verb] To care a lot for something or someone, treat with tenderness and affection; to nurture, hold dear, be fond of; be attached to; to embrace with interest; to indulge; to encourage; to foster; to promote; to protect and aid; To value something or someone; To retain a memory or wish in the mind of a source of pleasure or as an ambition; to feel love for.
I know that I definately care alot about my husband but I haven't always treated him with tenderness or affection...the everday grime gets in the way all to often. I definately can be a better nurturer if I really am honest with myself. Tommy does such an amazing job at nurturing me when I'm sick. There was only a few times when I got really sick while we were living in LA and Tommy called into work to stay home with me (since we didn't live near family) and had no one else around to take care of me...yes ladies he is very sweet and he is all mine=}. I need to learn from his example how to be a better nurturer when he gets sick. I do hold him dear to my heart but I know that I need to show it more in my actions to him. (I need to be a doer not just say "I love you" I need to show him how much I love him. For instance, by doing more special things for him, maybe take him to the park spend quality time with him, go to Barns and Nobles (one of our favorite date places...it's free to read there)=}
I also know I am fond of my husband but I defniately am no where near showing him how fond of him I am. It's so easy when we are first start dating our spouses to show them our fondness. (We're constantly thinking about how wonderful they are, so the actions just come naturally) I know I use to make Tommy a card almost every week, and a special scrapbook full of all the things I use to give him or make for him....oh how easy it is to let the daily grime get in the way.
={ sad to say it's oh so true!
And how many of us know that when we first started dating our spouses no one could pull us apart...we would go kicking and screaming before you could get us apart, but as the days go by after marriage turning into years passing it's good to get space every now and then from our spouse but we do still need to make sure we are coming back together, spending that quality time together to make sure we have the glue that keeps us attatched in the long run (when we cherish our spouse and think possitivily about them not allowing the wrongs to build up...that is the glue that will keep us together.)
When we embrace with interest we are truly listening to what our spouses are talking about, whether it's the most borring thing in the world to us but they maybe totally over-joyed about the subject and we are showing them we are interested not only in them but also in their quirks that make them up to be the person they are. So "be slow to speak and quick to listen"=]
When we indulge we take in fully, savoring the moment...so when we cherish our spouses we are fully taking them in and savoring every moment we have with them

for we don't know when our last one will be.

Are we fostering, promoting and protecting who our spouse is or are we going around complaining who they are not or who we wish they would be....remember the reasons why you married them, they are unique from who you are and that's why you married them (who would want to be married to a person just like our ownselves... I would definately get bored) My husband is definately a true gift from God, a special gift from above!!!
I most definately can improve on showing my husband the true value he is....he is a child of the Almighty God, the Creator of the universe, he has the favor of God upon His life and I just get to be a part of that blessing b/c I'm married to him.

Oh, how I know what the word CHERISH means on paper, now I need to put it into action and CHERISH Tommy the way God intending for me to.

May all of you been blessed and challenged by the "LOVE, HONOR AND CHERISH" series. I know that I sure have been. I truly look forward to God showing me more of how to Love, Honor, and cherish my most amazing husband for the rest of my life.

BLESINGS

Have you Blessed your Spouse Today?!

I know in my series it would be to write about cherishing our spouses but I just had an epiphany. This past Sunday I visited my parent's church (since I'm away from my hometown visiting family) and there was a gentleman, young at heart but was in his 80's who volunteers at the "Healing Room" in Spokane where they pray for people and then see God's hands at work at healing them. (I've heard amazing things about that place). Anyways, the epiphany struck me when after we were done chatting right before he left to go sit down with his wife he spoke a blessing over me... what I really started contemplating was what if as fellow believers in Christ and a part of the church if we spoke blessings over everyone we talked to before we left chatting with them. How would that really effect our lives, their lives and bring us together in unity...


Now lets take this epiphany a step further... what if we spoke a blessing over our spouses everyday before they left for work? Think about this for a moment: How would speaking a blessing over our spouses impact our relationship with them and how much would our love for each other grow? Our focus would be on positive things for them and how we would focus on how we could be a blessing to them instead of filling our minds of negative thoughts and complaints about them. Oh, I think how different would my marriage be if I did this every day for my husband?!

I have the most amazing husband ever and he is a true treasure from God. If I blessed him everyday for the rest of our lives he would feel like the true treasure God has made him.

*"Tommy Cruz, my beloved, you are the head & not the tail, you have the favor & anointing of God upon your life, you are blessed in the city & in the country, you are blessed in your coming & in your going, I am blessed because I married to you. Thank you for being my most amazing husband!" I LOVE YOU!!!

I will love, HONOR, & cherish

How do we HONOR our spouse throughout our lifetime together in Marriage?

Honor is: dignity, high regard or great respect given, enjoyed, given glory or a good reputation, to give credit to, a keen sense of right and wrong, done or given as a token, acts of respect, respect greatly, regard highly, esteem, treat deference and courtesy, to do or give something in honor, to accept, to accept as valid.

So when we tell our spouse we are going to "love, HONOR, & cherish" them we are stating to them that whether or not they deserve to be honored we are going to honor them. That's why love is a commitment we have to stick to. B/C we all know that after awhile of being married that our spouse may not always deserve to be honored but we gave them our word at the alter we are going to honor them...(plus if we really think about it how many of us deserve to be honored all the time) I know for me that I have some not so beautiful days and I don't deserve the love, honoring, and cherishing my husband gives me....thank God for His grace that flows threw my amazing husband.=} I think Romans 12:9-21 speaks so well on loving & honoring others even when they don't deserve it.

"love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share w/ God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn w/ those who mourn. Live in harmony w/ one another. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace w/ everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written "it is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head" Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil w/ good."

If we don't allow evil to overcome us in thoughts and actions but instead do good for our spouse and honoring them then I believe God will honor our marriage & bless it tremendously, beyond our wildest dreams...more then we could ever imagine possible for our relationships. May this bring you hope for your marriage and a challenge in the same way it has for me to honor your spouse in front of others and in front of them even when you don't feel like it or they don't deserve it...just remember how many times we don't deserve to be loved yet how much our spouse does love us even at times they may not show it... So, let's have the courage and strength to be the first to step out and HONOR our spouses setting the standard for our marriages & our relationship.

LOVE NEVER FAILS

Last but definately not least...

as we are coming to an end of 1 Cor. 13:4 - 8a this statement of "Love Never Fails"

ties all the rest of the words describing love together

(Love is.... patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, it rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts always hopes, and always perseveres)

this statement brings all of the words together to the full impact of what love is stating that when you truly love your spouse in these ways your love for them will never fail and will always come through for that person...they know they can always count on you.

"Love Never Fails" !!!

I started this journey out with Love and what I believe love really is, because most of our Marriages start out with us falling in love with our spouses...that's why we married them. We have hopes and dreams we share together and desire to share our lives with that other person for a life time.

That's why Tommy and I got married...we had hopes and dreams we desired to share together living them out together for a lifetime... I'm sad to say I haven't always loved Tommy fully in the ways 1 corinthians describes love. After 5 years of marriage I have really taken a look at this passage of scripture and tried to love Tommy in each of these 15 ways. It's not easy but the results are definately worth it. I figured, Lord willing I have another good 40 + years I get to keep on loving Tommy in (patience, kindness, not being envious, not boasting, not being proud, not being rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs, not delighting in evil, but rejoices with the truth, always protecting, always trusting, always hoping for the best, and always persevering).

Baby, I'm looking forward to kissing you & loving you for another 40 + years. ;} you are the love of my life, and a dream come true. Thank you for loving me, for me!!!

(I'm the luckiest woman on earth to have such a great husband like you)!!!

Love Always Perseveres

Oh, this is a good one!!! It's not always easy to persevere through

hard times. I love running, and I hope to run a marathon someday.

I trained back in 2003 with Team in Training

(which is an organization that raises funds for children and adults who have leukemia) they train people to run marathons and triathlons.

My first marathon was going to be in Anchorage, Alaska but 3 weeks before we were to fly up there to run I got in a car accident and sad to say, was unable to run the marathon. Although I did complete a 20 mile run before the week of the car accident, so when I say I know what it means to persevere through long runs (I know what that truly means.) Through our long runs I really experienced what physical perseverance was. You keep pushing yourself to keep running to reach your goal. This only makes you grow and strive for so much more, you learn so much about yourself and life in general along the way. When you push through the hurt and pain and keep striving and persevering you become a better you and you reach more of you potential then you could have ever imagined.

My amazing husband running the Long Beach, CA marathon....I'm so proud of him!!!
(you can ask him what it means to persevere physically

and he can tell you 26.2 miles is not a cake walk).

The same is true when we persevere through the hardships that life brings us. They are difficult to go through but the end result is oh so worth it. You become a better person and in marriage a better spouse and your marriage grows from your willingness to persevere. Keep holding onto the hope and truth that you are becoming a better person and better spouse that is going to reap the reward of your perseverance through the hard times.

Love Always Hopes

Hope is a great thing... it brings life to our dreams and allows us to look forward to the future.
I know that many of us on our wedding day we were all filled with lots of hope.

You can always see it in the bride and groom's eyes...the excitement and life they are both looking forward to sharing together.

But how many of us allow the day to day grime to get to us?! I know that it takes an effort to keep that hope and dreams alive. It's part of the commitment we make to our spouses on our wedding day. It's a choice we make on a daily basis to keep that hope of a life long love growing.
The day I got married brought alot of hope for my future.

I looked forward to the many years ahead I'm going to spend with my husband.

It's hard to believe that this Friday we will be celebrating our 5th Anniversary. We always try to plan something fun to do on our Anniversaries. We had the privaledge of our first 3 years to spend our Anniversaries in California, so we either went to the mountains

(which are kind of hard to find here in Texas)=}

or we would try to get a hotel on the beach...

(which was usually a little over an hour drive depending on traffic...

now it's over a day drive for us) ={

So we have to go with what we have within a few hours drive this time around.. Most likely we will be going to Dallas this year. I love just hanging out with my husband, we have so much fun. We are actually are having 2 little get aways for this anniversary. Just a week ago we were blessed with a condo for 2 nights in Ruidoso, NM and had a great time

going fishing and just hanging out with each other. And then this weekend we are headed up to Dallas...WOW, WE ARE SO BLESSED!!! The best part about the trips is that I will be with the greatest man in the whole wide world...

and I look forward to many more Anniversaries we are going to be able to spend together!!! Anniversaries have brought hope to my life in looking forward to special trips with the man of my dreams but the every day life just getting to know my husband more and more brings hope to me. He is so amazing there's so much more I look forward to getting to know about him!!!

Love Always Trusts

WOW... how many of us can really say that we ultimately trust our spouse with everything? Trust has been a process for me. My husband was the first guy I dated for a long period of time (which I'm totally grateful for....there was no one else who could compare to him, he's the most amazing man ever!!!) although I have had to learn to release things slowly to build my trust in my spouse. It has been a sacrifice of self and a willingness to put myself out there. I have learned it takes faith in my husband that he would not abuse or use anything I've shared with him against me. I couldn't have been blessed with a more perfect husband for me (he's not perfect in himself, but he is definitely my soul mate and is perfect for me). I can say I definitely know that I can put my trust in my husband and his love for me looks over my faults and knows I'm not perfect but that he truly loves me for me.=}

I THANK GOD FOR THE MAN IN MY LIFE!!!

Love Always Protects

Protects means : to shield from injury, danger, or loss, defend, to guard, to set aside.

If we are doing everything in our power to protect our spouse we will stand up for them and do whatever we can to protect them...which may not be easy to do when we are in a disagreement with our spouse. But the way we can protect them is to take the issue to our Heavenly Father who loves our spouse more then we ever possibly can and He will direct and lead us how to work out our disagreements and issues with our spouse in a loving and respectful way. He is so faithful to show us how to Love our spouse the way He loves them.
This has not always been an easy thing for me to do... but I am a work in progress and I'm learning how to take my own personal issues to the Lord and He is showing me how to work things out and bring to my husband's attention in a respectful and loving way to work on our disagreements together...

Love us definately a commitment

It amazes me....as each week passes and a new word from 1 Corinthians 13 comes up to work on for the week...it seems as though every week the word I'm working on really plays a role in that week.... for instance the week of "Love is Patient" it seemed like my patience was being stretched to it's limits..

Or when "Love is not Irritable/ Easily Angered" I'm usually not that irritable but that week I was so irritable and all I could account for is that's what I was suppose to work on for that week....And this week I've been working on "Love rejoices in Truth" and oh man, has it been a tough week...due to some circumstances not completely in my control....thank goodness God knows what I can handle and gives me the strength when I need it the most.

The Love Dare challenge out of 1 Corinthians 13 has been great for my marriage but to be quite honest has been tough on and off through out the weeks... But most definitely worth the pain. Keep up the good work everyone who has taken on the challenge, God will give you the strength to make it through. And bless your marriage in the process=}

Love does not delight in evil

Love does not delight in evil...what does that mean to you???

What it means to me, is that we don't hold onto our spouses faults and keep bringing them up over and over and over again until we beat it or them into the ground. It is so easy to look at our spouses faults again, and again, and again replaying it over in our minds but all that does is lay out a path of destruction to the end of our marriages. I have been guilty of replaying what I feel are my husbands faults over and over in my mind, but what I might consider is his faults could actually be the very tools God is using to shape, and mold me into being a better person that He knows I can be. God knows my full potential and who I can be in this life and He will choose many tools throughout my life to help me reach my full potential. So, what I may think are Tommy's faults could very well be the iron that is sharpening the iron in me. Helping me to become a better wife, mother, daughter, friend and servant of the Most High God.

So, I challenge you with this....instead of looking at your spouses' faults look to yourself for your own faults which God may want to get rid of and turn you into the best person you can possibly be...Your the only one that can be you, so you might as well be the best you that there ever was. I join you with this challenge and let's seek God out to help mold and create us into the best Lauriena's and yous that there ever was or ever will be...

LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS

Enjoy the ADVENTURE OF Loving your spouse

& not trying to find every fault they may have...

(don't forget we all have our own faults too.)

My husband sent this great quote and it made me think if I took this approach to my marriage and life in general where would my relationship with my husband be at today...


"Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Grab life by the mane. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies..

Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can.

Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshipping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion.
Live life to it's fullest and love your spouse to your fullest...when you are weak allow God's strength in you to be made strong. I'm excited to get started today on my journey and challenge to live my life in my marriage to it's fullest and love Tommy in a whole new way.

I'm going to enjoy the JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME!!!

It's the journey that makes life worth living!!!

Love is not easily Angered

Love is not irritable... 2 Corinthians 12:9 "God's grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness."

I cannot love my spouse on my own & not have an urge at times to be irritable. There are days I just want to flop on the ground, & throw a fit to get my own way...but that does no good now does it?! (for all of you parents of young toddlers out there) =}

I am not perfect, but Jesus is & He lives inside me. Only by God's grace & strength can I love Tommy whole heatedly. I must ask for God's strength each & every day b/c in my natural selfish human nature I am irritable @ times & I can get easily angered. Only by God's grace & His strength can I make it through those days that I may not feel like being respectful & loving towards Tommy. It's a choice to set aside my feelings and ask God to live out His love and compassion for Tommy on those not so glorious feeling days. When I want to be selfish & childish...(which gets me no where)!!!

I ask you Lord to give me your patients & strength to live this day in Your love & compassion.

Love is not Self-Seeking

Seeking for the gain of oneself...the word that comes to mind on this is SELFISHNESS. It's in our human nature to seek things out for our own gain...success, love, "what's in it for me" (that's what the world teaches us)...etc. The list could go on and on. I'm guilty of this especially in my marriage. And to be quite honest, seeking for satisfaction and fulfilment completely from my husband is not only unrealistic but it's not fair to him. He can't meet my inner most wants and desires. Only God can completely meet those needs, making me feel satisfied and fulfilled in this life. God's the one who gives me peace in the midst of the storms life throws at me. God's the one who ultimately comforts me and calms my heart. Tommy is a great consular but even when he gives me a hug and lets me cry on his shoulder he can't touch my heart and release the pain and hurts. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. So to seek to gain complete satisfaction and fulfillment from Tommy is unrealistic and would not be truly loving him. When I allow God to be my soul provider, comforter, and meeter of all my needs is when Tommy is free to be the great husband that he is and not having to stress or fret over trying to be my all in all. It has taken many trials and errors to learn this lesson, and I'm sure there will be more lessons to learn to always keep relying on God instead of Tommy, that's why I will be the first to admit I'm a work in progress. Thankfully God has given me a loving and understanding husband who knows that I'm a work in progress too.=} And he is willing to be patient and love me through it all.=}

Is Not Rude

According to the Webster Dictionary Rude is: Mean, lacking in social refinement, implies ignorance or indifference of good form, suggest intentional of discourtesy, lack of gentleness, lacking refinement or delicacy, occuring abruptly or disconcertingly(rude awakening).

Being rude is not being considerate and not caring of what you are saying to another person or even considering how it may impact the other person's feelings. I know from our first year of marriage the consideration and thoughtfulness of my own actions while Tommy and I were dating at times went out the window...sad to say but it is being real and honest with myself and you....can we say at times with my words I intentionally was discourtesy, had lack of gentleness, and refinement or any delicacy of my choice of words that came out of my mouth....which brought a rude awakening to our relationship. I was down right rude at times with my words. Words really can hurt and actions of being rude to your spouse can hurt the relationship(whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me) had either a lack of any empathy to self or just had a down right loss of sanity or feelings. Being rude to your spouse only damages the relationship and your intimacy with them. Our first 10 months of marriage after a blissful and exciting courtship came to a rude awakening when we began to see the not so pretty side of Lorena. Thankfully I have a forgiving husband and a gracious and loving God who desires to see me be a better wife and person....I have grown to learn to hold my words and really think about and consider how my words will impact my husband. If we have a disagreement I've been trying to consider how I am going to react to Tommy in a respectful way and try my best not to be rude...(I'm a work in progress) I've definately been learning how to communicate in a not so rude and disrespecful way...(I still have a long way to go but if I've come this far already in 5 years how far can I better myself with the good Lord's help in a year from now...hopefully a more considerate, loving and respectful wife).

I'M A WORK IN PROGRESS!!! ;}

Where would you like to be in...

Lets take a quick break from 1 Cor. 13,

sit back and reflect

where we would like our marriages to be in







say 5 years, 10 years, 15 years & so on...

I have some what of an idea where I would like my marriage in 40+ years...

(still happily married to

Tommy growing old with him

until death do us part)...

but that's just a brief description.

This couple is my inspiration....they are my parents and have been married 40+ years. God is so good.

When you know where you want to be in your marriage years from now you have to set goals to get there. So, if I want my marriage to be strong, thriving in our friendship, communication, affection, love, passion, and intimacy with Tommy being married to him 40+ years then I better make a plan and set goals to get there. You can't hit a target unless you set it in front of you.
One of the goals I would like for Tommy and I to set together is plan our 5 years anniversary...for instance, a trip for 5, 10, 15, 20...etc anniversaries...(that's having the expectation of still be married to Tommy all those years and then some) ;} I look forward to going on trips with Tommy, we get to go have fun just the 2 of us and we have such an enjoyable time together...just hanging out. That's why I married him in the first place...we enjoy being together. He's my best friend.
My goal to help my love for Tommy to grow was to take on this "love Dare" this year, to show how much I love my husband and cherish my marriage... keeping it fresh and alive. Who wants to be in a marriage that is dead and you have nothing in common anymore b/c you have allowed your feelings to die. Marriage takes work and it takes two of you to work in it...that's why love is a commitment.
I am going to keep reflecting and setting goals to keep my marriage striving and alive. Alot of them are going to be a challenge to complete but that's the exciting part, to see them come to fullfillment. I hope all of you are willing to challenge yourselves to set goals in your marriage so that you can see the fruits of your labor 40 years from now. Keep holding strong to God's promises and you will accomplish the goals set before you and your marriage will blossom from them.

Love is not Prideful

Wow, this has been an amazing & profound journey I've been on. The "Love Dare" challenge has helped me grow and brought a change in my attitude towards life and marriage. It has totally turned my attitude around for the better. My love for Tommy has grown so much through this challenge. I love him more today then when we first got married....which excites me and inspires me to keep doing the Love Dare challenge b/c I can only imagine where we will be in 10, 20, 30, or even 40 years from now. Love is a commitment to keep striving to better ourselves so that we can better our marriages. It breaks my heart to see couples go through divorce around me, especially with my close friends. I grieve with them over their loss. But even though it breaks my heart it also reveals to me the importance to keep striving to find ways to work on my marriage, keeping the love going strong and being committed to giving my all in my marriage. My heart longs for the day to see the divorce rate in our country drop... but, for right now the only person I can keep working on is myself and the rest I will have to keep in my prayers.

Love is not prideful: an over high opinion of oneself, exaggerated self esteem, haughtiness, arrogance, since of one's own dignity, self-respect, delight or satisfaction in one's achievements.

The opposite of pride is humility. If more of us would be willing to humble ourselves in our marriage then I believe we would have a lot less fights and a lot more respect shown towards our spouse. Do we really always have to be right?! Proverbs 16:18 tells us "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall". When we allow pride to fill our hearts we begin to forget the treasure that lies within our spouse and we begin to focus on our self. It's all about me, my needs, my desires, my life. But Humility thinks about others and their needs and their dreams. When we are humble we desire to help our spouse succeed in life and reach their dreams.

SO, I challenge all of us willing to seek out the best in our spouse and humble ourselves this week when a disagreement arises that we will "be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to get angry". Let's put ourselves in our spouse's shoes and see their point of view in the disagreement. Good luck to you all and may we all strive to better our lives and marriages.

Love does not boast

Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up but instead draws others to it.

Imagine if we drew our spouses to our self by our love for them

through our actions and our kindheartedness...

BOAST: Bragging, to talk especially about oneself, with too much pride and satisfaction, to vainly be prideful, exult glory in having something.

If we are to boast about anything it should be boasting and being proud of who we are married to and what a great spouse they are.

So I'm taking this moment to boast about

what a great husband I have....

He is so amazing. I've been truly blessed, my husband is a true treasure. He is a great leader, husband, father, uncle, brother and son. I could not have asked for a better husband then who he is. He is loving and compassionate. He lives his life with passion for what he does and desires to do all with excellence. He cares about others who are less fortunate. He has a generous heart and loves to give to others. The way he shows his love to me is profound. (let me give you a few examples.... when I was pregnant with Kai one day I was really sick to he called into his work to stay home with me and take care of me. Last year for our anniversary he bought me and hour detox and an hour message. For my first birthday we were married he knew I always wanted a heart locket and he bought one with my name inscribed on it. Every year for our anniversary he always does something special for me either buying a gift or just making sure we get to spend time together just the two of us..-which means the world to me{quality time}..the list could go on and on but I will stop with those few things) {I don't want anyone to be jealous or envious}

God has answered my prayers for such a good man. I wish other's could be blessed the way I have been, with such an outstanding spouse. But we have to keep reminding ourselves of the treasure we have and to be proud of who we are married to otherwise we might begin to focus on faults and begin to become discontent, forgetting the true gem that's within our spouse.

Focus this week on those great qualities that your spouse possess, write them in a special journal specifically for reminding yourself in the future. So when you & your spouse are going through a storm in your marriage you can look back and remind yourself who you married and why you married them. That journal may very well save your marriage and change your attitude toward your spouse.

Love does not envy

Envy: a feeling of discontent and ill will b/c of another's advantages, possessions, desire for something belonging to another, object of envious feeling.
I believe this is where relationships become hindered when 1 of the partners in the marriage or even both partners in the marriage begin to look at other relationships and compare their marriage to what they observe in other's and they begin to desire what they assume to be better then what they have of their own. They become discontent with what they have...("the grass is always greener on the other side"). Which is sooooo not true, just ask the many people who keep repeating their mistakes in one failed relationship after another. The cycle become vicious and before they know it they are repeating the same mistake over and over, destroying another relationship and another persons life. All b/c they are not content in what they have.

In the Bible in the book of Philippians Paul knew what it meant to be content no matter what the circumstance, we should take a look at his example and learn from it.

Php 4:11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Php 4:12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Isn't that what we mean when we say in our vows"for richer or for poorer, through sickness and in health, for better or for worse..." Or are those just words being thrown out there to just sound good at our weddings. We as human beings need to learn to be content where we are and who we have as a spouse, if we never learn that lesson we will forever be dissatisfied with our life and therefore have no life at all. We'll constantly be running the rat race right into our graves and miss out on the huge blessing that is right before us...OUR HUSBAND OR WIFE!!! Don't miss out on the Gift God has given. Rejoice in who your spouse is, be proud of who you married.

Look deep down in the treasure you possess and you will find a true gem.

Love is Kind

Kindness: Taking the initiative to be considerate and helpful. Sympathetic, friendly, gentle, benevolent (to do good), generous, cordial.




I know that most of us when we were dating our spouses it was easy to be kind to them. (We constantly reflected on their good qualities and the blessings they brought to our lives).

( My husband is a champion in my eyes!!! He is the most amazing man in the whole wide world and I'm the luckiest woman ever...b/c he's mine!!!)

When relationships are in the early stages (which I mean by at least the dating stages and usually the first 2 years of marriage) we are considerate, friendly, gently and even cordial to our husband or wife. But as the years pass in our marriage we begin to take our spouse for granted...that they will always be there. Although one thing I have learned in my almost 5 years of marriage, we cannot take our spouses for granted and just treat them any way our feelings throw our emotions into the wind. Otherwise we are throwing our marriage into the wind allowing it to be blown any directions that we can't control. Although we can control our attitudes and our actions, therefore we can control whether or not we choose to treat our spouse kindly on a daily basis.
Our feelings and emotions will rise and fall but we have a choice whether they are going to control us, or are we going to choose to control them.
So, I put this challenge out there....are we going to strive together to better ourselves and better our marriage by controlling our actions and choose today to be kind to our spouse this week? I'm taking up this challenge and choosing to be kind to the gift God has given me. (When we reflect on our spouses as gifts and the blessings they bring to our lives it is so much easier to treat them with kindness).
I know many of you will be blessed this week in taking up this challenge and seeing the growth of love in your marriage. Take heart true warriors who are fighting for your marriages you will be blessed, GUARENTEED

(I'm already celebrating with you in your victories) ;}

Love is Patient

"Love never gives up" 1cor 13:4a (Paraphrased Message bible)

Patience according to Webster dictionary:
The will or the ability to endure pain or trouble, with composure & without complaining, refusing to be provoked, calmly tolerating delay, diligent, persevering.

How do we love our spouse with such love? Being patient with our spouse can be very difficult at times. (I would be the first to admit that, but more so due to putting myself first…it’s all about me, me, me, me)….ah, come on I know there’s more of us out there who think this way…that’s why it’s called selfishness. It’s in our human nature to feel this world evolves around me (right)?!. Okay, maybe I’m the only one willing to be honest here. ;} If it wasn’t for God’s grace and Him giving me the patience to make it through the day I don’t think patience would even run through my veins.
Let’s look at a fictitious scenario… It’s been a long night with your little one teething and you’ve been up all night consoling them trying to sleep sitting up to help comfort them so they can at least sleep. This can make it very difficult trying to be patient during the day.

Lack of sleep, mixed with a short temperament (due to the lack of sleep) can add the pressure of trying to make sure the house is clean and dinner is on the table right when you husband walks through the door. Let me tell you patience kind of wears thin at that point. That is why I believe it does take the choice to choose that we will endure through this moment of lack of sleep and frustration as the baby is screaming, the house is trashed and the dinner is 2 hours late. While your husband has had a long day at work, and all he wants to do is eat and relax. At this moment, all you want to do is hand over the baby and take a nice, long, hot bath.
To really think we are going to calmly tolerate the complaints, that dinner isn’t ready and that our spouse has had a long day to just come home to a trashed house & screaming baby…

(What, they don’t think you haven’t had a

long day…and now to listen to more complaints

with a constant screaming child in the

back ground).

It’s hard not to provoke a fight or disagreement B/C we aren’t necessarily in our normal frame of mind.
It is possible to make it through a night and day like this, keeping our composure without complaining. (I’m still waiting for that day) ;} But we can persevere, being diligent and holding our tongues. Thankfully, we don’t have every single day be this way. This fictitious scenario maybe a real scenario in some of our lives. But, I do want to say that it is possible to be patient with our spouse even when we both have had a long day. When we make the choice to love our spouse with patience we are able to do so with the good Lord’s help. I cannot love my husband on my own, being patient through disagreements and not feel I have to share my own opinion. But I do attest it is possible.
My Husband and I were having a disagreement last week and he started getting defensive. So, I calmly listened to his point of view and once he was done I asked him why he was getting so defensive. Then I proceeded to explain where I was coming from and to my amazement, my patience and willingness to stay calm actually showed my husband I respected his opinion and even though we were disagreeing it did not turn out to be a full blown fight. And by the grace of God patience actually dissolved the disagreement. (now I wish I could say I am patient with my husband all the time but that would be telling a big, huge, fat lie…a matter of fact the previous week before this whole disagreement I was suppose to work on patience and I flopped big time, so this past week I’m still working on loving my husband through patience….and for the rest of my life.) lol

Love is a commitment!!!

JUST A LITTLE EXTRA T.L.C.

Tommy & Lauriena Cruz

It amazes me that there are so many couples who in their wedding vows say they are going to LOVE, HONOR & CHERISH their spouse until death do they part, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse... I know that my husband and I were one of those couples. And now after almost 5 years of marriage I begin to wondering if every couple who had those words in their vows truly took the time to take heart these 3 words what would it really look like.... how many marriages would actually last through the storms of life and the tsunamis that try to wash our paths away.

So let's take a closer look together and break these 3 words down.What would it really look like if we LOVED our spouses.

According to 1 Cor. 13:4~8a says

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persevers. Love never FAILS"

Wow, imagined if your spouse truly loved you this way, they were patient with you (even when you act out and throw your pitty parties...don't worry I do too, that's why we're called

human) =}. Or they were kind to you, (called you in the middle of your day not to request something of you but just to say "I love you, and just wanted you to know that" or sent you a card to your work or home to say"I love you"). They didn't envy you but rejoiced with you when you get that promotion you were waiting for. They didn't strut around being proudful of themselves but instead praised you for your qualities. They spoke to you in a gentle loving tone

(even in the heat of the battle). They strive to help you reach your full potential and accomplish your dreams. They listen to your every word and don't get definsive when there's a disagreement betweem the 2 of you. They don't keep bringing up your past faults but they let them go, and encourage you (not in a nagging way either) to strive to be a better person. They respect you and talk highly of you to others, not gossiping about you.

They will always try to protect you, and trust your word. They bring hope in your life and you can feel safe in your relationship with them B/C they are commited to you, and will do what they can to protect your marriage.

Now that would be amazing if your spouse loved you that way...but how much more amazing would it be if you loved your spouse that way even before your spouse ever loved you that way. It takes a big person to better themselves and challenge themselves even if that means they start the journey by themselves.

What about HONOR, what does honoring your spouse look like:

According to Websters Dictionary.

"HONOR: is to hold at high regard, have great respect, glorify, good reputation, consider right & pure, something done or given, ceremonies of respect, a source or cause of respect or fame, exalt, staking one's good name on one's truthfulness or reliability."

We should ask ourselves how can we honor our spouse by way of this definition. How can we hold our spouse in high regards & have a great respect for them? How can we glorify them by giving them a good reputation, considering them right in other's eyes? Helping them to be pure through out their lives? How can we exalt our spouse? One of the ways that most women do show respect to their husbands when they first get married they take on their husband's last name in good faith trusting that he is going to be trustworthy and reliable.

We have the power of choice, we get to choose how we are going to live out our lives, and live them out in our marriages. When we love & honor our spouse we are making the choice to be commited to keeping our marriages strong.

CHERISH sounds so nice, "I'm going to love, honor, & CHERISH my spouse until death do us part".... wow, that could very well mean a long time we have to cherish our spouse. But I believe a lot of us don't know what it truly means to cherish something or someone.... we flipantly throw out "I love pizza, I love puppies, I love this, I love that". The English language doesn't really give us much in the area of describing how we differentiate about things. To truly understand what it means to cherish we'll take a look at Websters dictionary once again.

"CHERISH: to hold dear, value highly, to take good care of, treat tenderly, to hold in the mind, cling to."

Do we really hold our spouse dear to our hearts, valueing them highly, making sure we are taking good care of them, treating them tenderly, clinging to the very thought of them being called our own?

Wow, to really break down all 3 of these words and really taking a look at what they mean really opens my eyes and makes me ask myself...in the past 5 years have I really LOVED, HONOR, & CHERISHED my husband? To answer that question honestly NO!!! I'm a very real, honest person even when that means admitting my faults...(& yes my husband can attest to my faults... but thankfully he is a gracious and loving husband~& forgiving) =}

I have been challenged this year @ the beginning of 2009 to really strive to love,honor, & cherish my husband. I have been doing the "Love Dare" book inspired by the "Fireproof" movie. It's taking me a little longer then 40 days... It's March 9th and I'm still basically in the beginning of the book, I'm on day 11... (which I still have to read by the way) =} but I won't allow myself to move onto another day until I complete the day I am on. But I'm a work in progress and each day of my life is too. I have also challenged my circle of coffee girls to join me in another type of love dare and that is to take each word that describes love from 1 Cor. 13:4~8a and love our spouses through creative ways living out the action of that word for a week.

I have seen a big turn around in my attitude towards my husband & my love has grown for him so much it's unbelievable. My husband just told me last night he felt our marriage is at the strongest it has ever been. It has definately been a challenge but so rewarding in the results it has brought to our marriage & our relationship.

Now our marriage wasn't on the rocks or but I was not living my full potential as a wife and loving my husband as a child of God. The reason I took on the 2 Love Dare challenges was to better myself but also to do preventive work in my marriage so we don't have to be on the rocks before turning our marriage around. It's like when you own a vehicle... you don't keep driving it until it goes capoot on you, you have to put in gas, change the oil, change the spark plugs, have it tuned up, rotate your tires...etc. You have to do the preventive work on a car so it will be fine tuned and reliably running for you so your not stranded out in ten-buck-to with no help around and no cell phone to call out to anyone. Thankfully we do have God to call out in times of need, when we just don't have the strength in us to love our spouses the way they deserve to be loved. He will give us strength to get us through & even the love we need to pour out onto our spouse. B/C to be quite honest it's not easy to love our spouse when we are consumed of our selves, yet when we pray to God He is faithful to answer and give us a new & refreshing outpour of abundant love for our spouse.

I would love to have anyone who would like to join us in the love dare challenge to feel free . What we are doing is we get together every week and share how we did the previous week on the word of the week. This week we are on Kindness (much easier then the previous week...it was patients) =} I would love to hear comments on how it is working out...GOOD LUCK TO ALL WHO TAKE ON THE CHALLENGE, may it change your marriage forever. We are all a work in progress.